Dear Ohio Winters, Thank you for reminding me this week, how much I hate you. You are getting bitter and so am I. Please pass by quickly.
Dear Lotion Company, Thank you for making a solid product. I may have to buy stock in you. I have to use you to rub down the daughters on a nightly basis to stave off raw winter skin.
Dear Kasich Policy Team, Thank you for getting together on the weekends to eat meals and discuss things. Apparently the term "work hours" means nothing to you.
Dear Supreme Court Justice Alito, Thank you for saying, "Not true" to the president during the state of the union address the other night. He should not use the State of the Union address to chide the Supreme Court. You are darling and you are now my second favorite Justice after Antonin Scalia.
Dear Birthday, Thank you for being next week! I plan to gain five pounds celebrating you.
Dear PK1, Thank you for giving me my dignity when I insisted that a thrall was a gazelle like animal and you said it was a Viking slave and we looked it up and you were right and you didn't throw it up in my face too much.